Clear As Water
by TheNewIdea
Summary: Don't make this any harder than it needs to be. That's what she said to me. I wanted to say that I was sorry, that I could try to be different...I came close believe it or not, five more seconds and I would've opened my heart out. That's all I would've needed, five seconds and my life couldn't been completely different. But there's a funny little fact about life, it goes on.


Don't make this anything more than it needs to be. That's what she said to me.

She said that she wished that things could go back to the way they were before. When I was skinnier and had a decent paying job instead of being a lowly fisherman. She was always nagging me about all sorts of things, but it was this time, "Don't make this anything more than it needs to be" when I realized that it was all over.

If she had waited five more seconds I would've opened my heart out, literally giving her everything and then all of my "problems" wouldn't matter. She would be so overcome with joy and happiness that we would finally be able to have, to share what other couples share. To have that moment of clarity, where everything makes sense, where nothing else matters.

But we don't have that, we never will. It was like I was drowning in a river, a muddy river. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, the only thing I was able to do was feel fear. Fear of being alone, fear of being made fun of and fear of knowing that all of this was easily avoidable.

Whatever it was that we had, whatever it was that we were going to have, it all came shattering down like glass and my feet were bare. I wanted to say that I was sorry, that I could try and be different. But she only scoffed, picked up her suitcase and walked out the door. I never saw her again.

Seconds later the kitchen phone rang. I walked over to it to find a familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello?" It began- the voice of Goofy, my neighbor, "Is this Pete?"

"Yes" I answered, "It's me Goof. What's going on?"

Goofy turned his head away from the phone and then got back to it. "Is that your girlfriend walking down the street?"

I nodded, "Yes" I answered once again, my voice was hoarse, I could barely breathe, "I almost did it tonight Goof."

Goofy gasped, "You did? Gosh I'm sorry Pete...I know how much you loved her. Don't worry, you'll find the right one someday."

Goofy was always there for me, even when I didn't want him to be. He was that kind of guy and I appreciated him for it.

"Do you remember Nicole?" I asked, mentioning Goofy's late wife, who died some time ago from breast cancer.

"Not a day goes by that I don't think of her" Goofy answered, "But you know what Pete? There's a funny little fact about life. It goes on. Sometimes you may think that the world is ending and everything that you've ever known is a lie, but you can't think that. Because if you do you're not living, you've already given up if you think that."

I had no idea what Goofy was trying to say, he was being philosophical at time where philosophical reasoning was more of a hindrance than a benefit. My silence communicated this.

"What I'm saying is that you can't let this get you down" Goofy simplified, "You're going to get past this. Like water off a duck's back Pete, water off a duck's back."

At that moment I wished that I were a duck. But I am not a duck; I am a cat and so hate water. Goofy's euphemism did absolutely nothing for me at the time, for I was so distraught that I was reduced to the most basic levels of cognitive thinking and understanding. The only things that I knew were my name, I was alone and that Goofy was on the other line of the phone.

"I'm tried Goofy" I said rather sadly, "I think I'm going to go to bed."

Goofy sighed, it was concerning, "You sure?"

I nodded and didn't say anything, so Goofy had no idea of my response. After a few seconds he got the hint.

"Well okay Pete" Goofy continued, "Just remember, I'm always here for you."

How could I forget?

I hung up the phone and made my way to the bedroom, falling on the bed as if it were a rock. After a few minutes of total silence everything became clear.

I wasn't the one with the problem. I had been dieting for over a year and it was showing results. I had been going to anger management classes; I was now more outgoing than I had ever been in my entire life. I volunteered at the local animal shelter, the soup kitchen and the elementary school as a bus driver. The kids called me Big Pete, so did the teachers but for a different reason. I'd like to think that they saw my heart before everything else. My life was good. She was the one with the problem.

I looked to my right and saw the bedside phone, picking it up I called Goofy again.

"Hello?" Goofy answered through the other line

"What do you say about lunch tomorrow?" I asked, "I'll buy."

Goofy laughed a bit, "You ain't buying anything. I'll buy and you can get the tip."

I rolled my eyes but decided to comply, "Sounds good with me" I replied

Goofy was just about to hang up when I stopped him. "Hey Goofy, thanks..."

"Don't mention it Pete" Goofy said nonchalantly, "I guess you want to keep this conversation on the down low?"

I shook my head and leaned back on the pillow, "Tell it to the world Goofy" I exclaimed, "Come tomorrow, you're looking at the new Pete."

"Didn't you say that before?" Goofy asked curiously

"Yes" I replied sternly, "But this time it's different. This time, things are finally going to get better for me."

I hung up the phone and went to sleep. I had no idea what tomorrow would bring but I knew one thing that no matter what happened I would always my friends and in a way that was better than she could've ever been.


End file.
